Mr. C Monks knows what he likes. He has an eye for beauty and a taste for the finer things. As with his Fubu wardrobe and Smurf collection, Mr. C Monks takes a special interest in his skin. You'd marvel at his constant dedication in front of the mirror, forever refining and picking at his face.

In the winter time his lips are particularly prone to chapping, so Mr. C Monks shops at the finest discount drugstores for just the right creams and ointments to rescue his dry, peeling lips. Often he will use three or four different lip treatments at a time, so as to be sure that his soft, luscious lips return to their soft, luscious glory. Despite health warnings on the packages, he will apply layers upon layers of the creams and ointments on his lips over a dozen times a day. Yes, this has been known to leave Mr. C Monks' mouth to feel "overly-tingly" and the fumes from the various treatments cause him to seem more paranoid and angry than usual, but it's the price someone of his caliber must pay to maintain his masculine beauty and coolness.

As for the rest of his face, a never-ending war wages between dry skin and oily skin. To counteract and thwart these two forces into retreat, Mr. C Monks soaks his face in hot, scalding water for twelve minutes every night before bedtime. He follows that up by placing his head into a 150F oven for seven minutes. Finally, he makes a paste consisting of sesame oil, cream of tartar, and Scope, which covers his entire face while he sleeps. He also wears a protective cone around his neck to prevent the paste from staining his bedding. Occasionally, the cone will cause some chaffing along Mr. C Monks' neck. He has yet to discover an effective remedy for this. It bothers him greatly as it makes him look like he is battling a severe case of ringworm.

Regular people sometimes take the beauty of their heroes and stars for granted. Their effortless style and glamorousness seems to come so easily, so naturally. Ordinary people don't realize the hard work their heroes and stars have to go through, day in and day out, to maintain their exquisitely cool appearance. May this glimpse into the facial skin care life of one of our most valued celebrities change this naïve outlook that average-looking, lesser people have had for far too long a time.

This post is dedicated to my wife of twenty-three glorious and sexually provocative years, former ambassador to the UN, Jeane Kirkpatrick.