The guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place is really nice. He's always so chipper and friendly. Last night he greeted me before I even had both feet in the door. "How can I help you, sir?" he said, with a smile. He has a great face. Great head of hair, too. I bet he's an aspiring actor. He really could be a famous movie star one day. I just have this feeling about him. Like when he asked me if I wanted complimentary rolls with my meal. I don't know, there was just something about the way he said it that made me think "Clooney."

Why "ER" could do far worst than to hire the guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place. He'd be great as the guy who handles all the incoming calls at the main desk of the emergency room. There's a character called "Jerry" who's currently in that roll. The guy who plays "Jerry" is funny and all, but he's really got a weight problem and I'm surprised the producers of the show would want to have an unhealthy looking person as an actor on the show. Not that I have anything against fat people, because I don't. I could name many fat celebrities whom I like. I really could. Ok, maybe I couldn't by name, but I could describe their body type and the way they walk funny because they're so fat....Wait--Santa! Santa is a fat celebrity who I like. I'm pretty sure there's no need for me to describe what he looks like, because most everyone knows what Santa looks like...He's fat and wears a big red suit. Anyway, the guy on ER doesn't wear a red suit, but he could stand to lose a few pounds. Enough about him, though.

The guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place is who I want to focus on because he really focuses on his customers when he's helping them with their orders. For instance, there's this particularly fancy pizza I order that goes by the name of a "Nolio." Well, I don't know why, but pretty much every time I call to order the pizza I always ask for a "Polio." So last night, I was like "Hi there." (I always pause a moment before placing my order in hopes that the guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place will recognize my voice and personalize his typically warm and friendly greeting, but alas, he has yet to.) "I'd like a 'Polio' please." The guy didn't miss a beat and said, "I think you mean a "Nolio," sir." I mean, how skilled is that at being able to read a customer's needs? Plus he was so damn friendly and polite about it, to boot. I'm not sure I have ever come across a guy who handles takeout orders who has such a fine balance of affability and business acumen than the guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place. He is really wicked awesome. And have I mentioned his hair yet? Brown like a strong ale and a little long in the front, as he often has to sweep it back. I'm telling you, we'll be seeing the guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place on the cover of many a magazine in the near future. Probably the pizza vendor magazines at first, but from then on the sky's the limit. They make pizza vendor magazines, right? They must. They're probably not very interesting, but still, pizza vendors need something to read, I guess. I wonder if the pizza vendor magazines have crossword puzzles. You think all the questions are pizza-vending-related? I'd do pretty bad at the puzzle if they were. I hate losing. Who cares? It doesn't matter. What matters is that the guy who handles the takeout orders at the fancy pizza place is really nice and I say he rocks. When he handed me my change last night, he firmly placed the money in my hand and said, "Thanks for coming out tonight, sir." And I said "Oh, no really, I'm not gay, but thanks anyway." He smiled and said "You bet." Now how cool is that?

This post is dedicated to those who like to rock.