I received my first email requesting that a person's image and name be removed from a past entry. Back in February I posted an analysis of upcoming ultimate fighting match-ups between recent $10,000 winners at iWon.com. If you know me, you know that there is nothing I invest in more than the sport of ultimate fighting. I find it the true sport of kings, plus I enjoy watching people regress to cavemen for three rounds. Retarded cavemen. Along with ultimate fighting I also love me a good contest, particularly contests that involve random drawings. The website iWon.com has a weekly drawing where one member wins $10,000 simply for registering onto the site. (God love it! Isn't the internet wonderful?) So in an attempt to meld my two passions I concocted a scenario where weekly winners at iWon.com would duke it out in an ultimate fight. It seemed a match made in heaven, really. Well, okay, maybe not everybody's heaven, but certainly in mine. My theory about heaven is that everyone’s is different anyway. What one might consider heavenly, others might consider tacky and boring. To each their own. Just don't pass judgment on other people's heavens, K? I mean they've lived a life on Earth worthy of their own personal heaven so cut them some slack. In my heaven there will definitely not be anyone around who doesn't cut slack or wears two-toned jeans. That's just me and my heaven. You may wish to have non-slack cutters and really ugly jeans in your heaven, and if so, more power to you.

Anyway, the person in question (whose name I will not reveal because I'm scared they will email me again with yet another oddly worded request for name removal) asked me to remove their picture and name from Utter Wonder. I obliged without objection. I considered changing the names and pictures of the iWon.com winners when I first wrote the entry, and in retrospect that's what I probably should have done. A part of me understands them not wanting their likeness and name used without permission on a farm league website that averages 2.74 visitors a day. However, another part of me feels that if you've won a public contest and have gone through the trouble of submitting a photo of yourself to a public website you are fair game. But that's just me. In my heaven you will be fair game. Perhaps in other people's heavens--certainly in said unnamed iWon.com weekly winner's heaven--you will not be fair game. Fair enough.

I do think that it's a high honor to appear on Utter Wonder, though. Where else can 2.74 loyal blog readers view your lovely visage? Why I'm even certain that many people if allowed would submit their photo and name to Utter Wonder to have me post it. So to prove my point I here call on any reader of this website to submit their name and photo for display. If you do so I will post your name and pic and write something witty and clever and ha-ha about you and your photo. I promise I will not be mean or derogatory about your facial characteristics or body type. I may, however, poke fun at your clothes because a person with my superior fashion sense can't help but make fun of other people's silly, uncool clothes.

So how about it? Come on, send me your name and photo. If you do so you will be enshrined into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For being a member of Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame you'll be entitled to Utter Wonder mementos like a signed copy of a fan letter I wrote to Star Jones and an a cappella voice recording of me singing your favorite pop song. Pretty cool, no? Yes! Please make sure your photo is a JPEG file and not, like 5 billion trillion pixels large. And don't send a fake photo. I have enough of those already. I want the real deal. Be bold Utter Wonder readers: show those who refuse to have their image and name appear on this website how to have a sense of humor about yourself! More importantly, don’t leave me hanging. If not a single person sends me a photo of his or herself I will look like a big idiot. I don't want to look like a big idiot. Or even a regular-sized idiot. Please, help an afraid of being any size of idiot brother out. Send!Send!Send!

This post is dedicated to all the fine and sexy professional lady bowlers in the house.