Like happens with all great phenomenas, lulls are bound to occur from time to time. And while nobody can deny the phenomenal phenomena that is Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame, it's easy to see why the barrage of brave and courageous and chock full of intestinal fortitude people could have taken a bit of a hiatus. What with all the events in the news, from the effortless rebuilding of Iraq to witnessing the cinematic masterpiece of our time, it is understandable that people would hold off from being brave and courageous and intestinally fortitudish so they can better appreciate the living history that is our present. (Wut up, David McCullough? Wut up?)

But lull no more, my peeps and peepettes, we have a new inductee into the Hall of Fame, and her name is Patti Freeman. Patti Freeman has been a long time supporter of this site, and while one can't help but wonder what's taken her so long to send in her picture to be inducted, it's a pleasure to have her aboard. So let's do like we do for all inductees and gaze for a time not shorter than five seconds at Patti Freeman's photograph. Begin!

One-Mississippi

Two-Mississippi

Three-Mississippi

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Five-Mississippi

There. Good job. I always love showing mad respect for the inductee's photo. And this inductee's photo is especially deserving. So which one do you think Patti is? I think we can discount the older gentleman. I mean, I've known my fair share of guys with feminine sounding names, but this one here doesn't seem like the type, at least not a "Patti Freeman" anyway. He strikes me more as a "Lonnie" or a "Stryker." But enough about Lonnie Stryker, I think if forced to choose between the older woman and the younger, ravenous woman, I'd have to go with the younger, ravenous woman as our newest inductee, Patti Freeman.

Now that that's over with, what do you think Patti Freeman is eating? I'm going to go with mashed potatoes, some sort of fowl, and a green salad. Looks like a well-balanced meal to me. And that's good, because I'm hoping Patti Freeman can make an impression on the rest of the other Hall of Fame members who, quite frankly, could use some tips on eating healthier foods. Not that any are particularly overweight or out of shape, but the smell of pork rinds and Mountain Dew that emanates from the Hall of Fame member's encampment is often too much to stomach. I think it's also worth noting that Patti Freeman apparently fought off any urge to have a Diet Dr. Pepper. It's clear from the photograph that the banquet hall she's eating in was pushing the Diet Dr. Pepper really hard. I'm not a fan of Diet Dr. Pepper, and although I like to think of myself as an objective person free of biases, I don't think I could allow a Diet Dr. Pepper drinker into UW's Hall of Fame; the Hall is not about lowbrow diet soda people.

What she drinks or doesn't drink aside, I hereby proudly induct Patti Freeman into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. Patti Freeman will soon feel the power that comes from being a member of the hall. Strap-in and lace-up, Patti Freeman: you're in for a wild ride of power and fortune! For her efforts I've sent Patti Freeman a signed copy of a fan letter I wrote to Star Jones. The letter is more than suitable for framing and would make a fine book cover for all you back-to-schoolers.

The especially discerning readers have probably already noticed that an official list of all Utter Wonder Hall of Fame members has found its way to the sidebar of this website. It's a list of brave and courageous and intestinal blahdy-blah-blah people so I figured they deserved their own special spot of high prominence. You, Utter Wonder readers who are not already in the Hall of Fame, could be on the list, too. All you need to do is bravely and courageously send me your photograph for posting. I promise not to make fun of you that much, and the publicity you’d get from being seen on a website that averages 2.74 unique visitors per day will be just the ego-boost you need. So what are you waiting for? Get to work.

This post is dedicated to finger poppin' time.