As any patriotic American is, I'm infatuated with blogs. I think blogs are easily the most important thing to happen to the media since "Newlyweds" starring Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Blogs are changing the way people with enough money to own or have access to a computer receive their information about the world. In short, blogs are wicked awesome.

I have many favorite blogs. Take a look at my blogroll and you'll see an assortment of happy, jolly bloggers who expand my knowledge horizons each and every day. And there are still even more blogs out there that I read every day who aren't listed, mainly because they think they're too cool to link me, but also because they are such busy and important bloggers they haven't the time to be decent for just one second and link to my site from theirs.

Aside from the fresh off the presses-like information I attain from blogs, I also enjoy getting to know the personal, real life sides of bloggers. Some bloggers readily open up their real-life worlds to their readers, like telling what they had for dinner or who starred in their wet dream from the night before. Yet, the way I like to get to know just how my favorite bloggers are in real life is through the photos of themselves they include on their blogs. It's fascinating placing a face with the words that spew out of it. Not every blogger does it, but those who do are brave and courageous for displaying their mugs for all the blogosphere to see.

It takes a lot of gumption to show the world what you look like. I know I never will (as you know from my famous treatise on the issue). So I think they deserve some mad props and just desserts. Thus to honor these brave and courageous bloggers I will begin a new feature on this site where I will critique the photos that bloggers post of themselves. I shall call this feature "My Critiques of Photos That Bloggers Post of Themselves."

Before I kick off this new feature let me explain the grading system which I'll use for each blogger's photograph:

A = Wow. Way to go. You got the goods and you know how to deliver them. There should be more photos of you on your blog; in fact it should be riddled with them. I shall dream about you.

B = Solid effort. You're not quite as good-looking as me, but still you don't look troubled or ill. Your weird writings aside, you look to be a pretty normal person who if I passed on the street I might smile at, but in a very non-flirtatious way. Please don't misread my display of friendliness—I don't want to date you.

C = Your photo looks like a rejected yearbook picture. You know, like you either had one eye closed or some saliva dangling from a tooth. This of course begs the question: if you didn't select this picture for your yearbook, why did you choose it for your blog? Then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder; who cares if your beholder is blind and retarded?

D = Well, it could be worse: you could have lesions or pronounced moles on your face. Your bravery for posting the pic is commendable, if not philanthropic. If they made TV Movie of the Weeks about homely looking people willing to post their photos yours would be premiere during sweeps.

F = No comment. I'm smiling and not saying anything because I was taught that's the polite thing to do when you're frightened by a grotesque monstrosity that makes you want to vomit all the way home to your momma.

Alrighty then, on with my critiques...

Jeff Jarvis
One of the more high profile bloggers, Jarvis' blog photo is stately and reverential. The background of books lends a sense of intellectuality, while his spectacles allow for a scholarly charm. Jarvis seems almost giddy in the photo, as if he's just thought of another way to insult the French. All in all I come away neither repelled nor attracted by his photo. I guess that's a good thing.

GRADE: B-

Matt Yglesias
From his photo it appears he once took a plane ride after participating in a Fight Club. That is an early swell on his right cheek, is it not? His nose may be running, too. I'm not sure. While Yglesias doesn't come off as a candidate for an extreme makeover he doesn't exactly scream "I'm a supermodel!" either. This photo has to be put in the "What were you thinking?" box. Surely there are better pictures of him he could have used? I think that's what a lot of bloggers forget when they post pictures of themselves: that people will assume that your photo is the best you have to offer. Why would you want to display photo of yourself that wasn't you at your most photogenic? Maybe that's a rule of Fight Club I've forgotten. Oh well.

GRADE: C

Steven Berlin Johnson
I have nothing but mad respect for models, particularly models who pose for those photographs in picture frames you buy at Wal-Mart. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Still, as models who are in photos that come in picture frames go, Steve Berlin Johnson isn't very hott. It looks like he's at the beach, though, so that's a cool. I love the beach.

GRADE: C+

Virginia Postrel
Oh, aren't we the laid back, "acting natural" one! Yeah, I don't know; her easy going demeanor seems a tad forced. I can almost hear the photographer yelling at her little motivational cues to get her to unwind and smile. For a blog photo this one isn't really that bad. It's obviously professionally done. However, I doubt its initial intent was for the blog. Her pic strikes me more as a headshot that would be included on a reality show application, more "Trading Spaces" than "Fear Factor." It looks like bad posture is an issue for Postrel, as her back seems a bit hunched. Maybe she's being examined by a doctor with a stethoscope. The possibilities are endless and I could stare and stare at this photo for hours.

GRADE: B

Lawrence Lessig
Easily one of the most talked about blog photos of all-time. It's a fine example of a blog photo "action shot" as it depicts Lessig deep in thought, either working on some law document or registering his membership at Smurfcollector.com. I can’t help but admire somebody who posts such a serious and self-important picture of themselves. Who cares if the picture would rate a "1.2" on amihotornot.com—the man is busy and smart and important and has a wicked headache and the longest pinky finger in the blogosphere, so give him his due respect! How about those fingers anyway? Wow. He's like a Flo-Jo without the need for nail polish. You think he has trouble tying his shoes? I can't imagine it being easy to work shoe laces with those lanky digits. Or how about putting a key on a key ring? God, that's hard enough to do with normal sized hands as it is. Anyway, I have to admit to being extremely captivated by Lessig's blog photo. No, it isn't sexy or flattering or cool or sexy, but it's so audacious an offering that I feel it deserves an exemplary grade. Well done, Larry.

GRADE: A-

So that wraps up this first installment of "My Critiques of Photos That Bloggers Post of Themselves." You're welcome. If you know of a blogger who has a photo of themselves posted on their site and would like to see me critique it, let me know. Likewise, if you have a picture of yourself posted on your own blog and would like me to critique it, please send me an email and I'll see what I can do. No promises; I only critique blogger's pictures which enthrall and/or terrify me.

This post is dedicated to my mommy.