Congratulations to Edith Stump for retaining her title as Hockatow, Wisconsin's registrar probate. Danny "The Goose" Jacoby mounted a strong challenge, but in the end Edith Stump's experience and large campaign war chest proved to be the deciding factors.

I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. I thought that since Danny "The Goose" Jacoby bought a blog ad on my site he was a sure bet to win the election. His victory was going to be the next big thing to happen to this blog for it would have proven that I am a major player in the blogosphere. Soon, all the big politicians would come a calling to my blog door looking for ad space and endorsements. And then I'd be famous. Ah, sweet fame; how I long for its famey smell and famey touch.

Oh well. At least Danny has agreed to keep his ad up for a while. So it's not a total loss. He's a little bitter about his defeat, as he shows on his updated campaign website, but he's young and I'm sure he'll bounce back.

Okay, enough of the bummer news; on with the next exciting entry of my NanoWriMo novel! Today we begin at Count von Hasselhoffer's castle. Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily has finally arrived from her journey. She's tired and hungry and longs for the sweet taste of kielbasa, and the Count is more than happy to appease her. So let's get it on!

UNTITLED NOVEL
by C Monks

"Your kielbasa is magnificent, Count!" Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily raved.

"My kielbasa is known as the sweetest tasting and thickest kielbasa in all of Hasselhofferania!" Count von Hasselhoffer said.

And then for the next eight and a half minutes they ate their kielbasas in silence. Yes, some of the silence felt awkward, but other parts of it felt quite calming, as if the two had shared each other's company all of their lives and were used to long silences while eating kielbasa with one another.

Suddenly, Otto appeared. "I'm hungry," he said.

"Back to the basement, underling!" Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily yelled at Otto. "Hurry before your working class presence ruins my appetite!"

"My assistant has taken the liberty of ordering you takeout. I trust you like Indian food, underling?" Count von Hasselhoffer stated.

"Yes, a bunch," Otto replied, smiling happily.

"Good. I live to make you happy," Count von Hasselhoffer said.

"You do?" Otto asked.

"Of course not. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Count von Hasselfhoffer joked.

But was he joking? Count von Hasselhoffer had been carrying certain strange feelings around with him for quite some time. He didn't know how to handle them, so whenever they arose he offered Indian food and made a silly joke. Still there was something about Otto the underling that captivated him. Was it his long shaggy beard? His hazel eyes? His bulging pectoral muscles? The Count wasn't sure.

"That'll be all, underling," Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily announced. "Back to your cage!"

"What cage?" asked Otto.

"Back to the basement!" Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily announced.

Man it's getting kinda tedious having to type "Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily" over and over again. Same goes for "Count von Hasselhoffer." I think I'll use shorter names from now on and simply find and replace them with the original names when I edit the draft. It's this type of thinking on the fly that makes me a great fair to middling novelist.

"Tell me, how many rooms do you have in you castle?" Shaniqua asked with a mouthful of kielbasa.

"Forty-three and a half," answered Danny.

"My, what great wealth you have, Danny," Shaniqua said.

"Yes, I am very wealthy," Danny said. "But wealth is not what I am completely about. I find there are much more important things in life."

"Like what?" asked Shaniqua, a little mystified.

"Like family, bunny rabbits, the luge, and being your town's registrar probate."

"I love registrar probates!" Shaniqua shouted.

"Yes, registrar probates are awesome," Danny said. "That's why I am running to be registrar probate of Hasselhofferania By-the-Sea."

"You are? Wow," Shaniqua shrieked.

"Yes, I am impressed, too. But there is much work to do. Countess Edith Stumplonia poses a formidable challenge. She has been registrar probate of Hasselhofferania By-the-Sea for the last seventeen years. It will take much work to unseat her."

"Well, we should get to work then."

"You mean?"

"Yes; I will do all I can to make sure you, Danny, are the next registrar probate of Hasselhofferania By-the-Sea!"

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Danny; I believe in you."

I'm touched by your support," Danny said holding back a tear of emotion. "Come then, Shaniqua, for we have much leafleting to do!"

This post is dedicated to UWHOF member Dee Dee Peel's new gig.