After a long dry spell, I am proud to announce that we have a new inductee into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. I'm not really sure what to make of the drought in applicants over the past few months, but I've promised myself not to take it personally and let that be that. I'm sure people have just been busy and whatnot. I mean, it's not like they haven't applied because they hate me or find my dressing skillz overrated or something. Oh god. That would suck. Are there people out there who actually think I'm not nearly as good a dresser as I proclaim to be? Well, if there are, let me just say that they don't know what they're talking 'bout, Willis. And even if their names are not Willis, they still don't know what they're talking about. How do I know? Three words: JC Penney.

But enough about my stylish shirts and slacks--we're here to celebrate the bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude of a new inductee into Utter Wonder's Hall of fame. Since the advent of the UWHOF, there's been a groundswell of brave and courageous and intestinal fortitudey people who've taken a leap of faith and bought in to the idea that good things happen to those who have their photo posted on Utter Wonder. Their act is a decisive rebuttal to those who don't find this site worthy of their visage. The realize that appearing on Utter Wonder brings you the power and glory that only a blog visited by 4.72 people a day can bring you. It's a super selective power and glory, especially when you factor in that 1.179 of those 4.72 visits are people brought here via a Google search for "David Beckham's cock." So as an UWHOF inductee you are seen by only an elite few, but an elite and powerful and glorious few to be sure! I think so anyway. That belief is the only thing that keeps me going, so it better be true.

Today's brave and courageous and intestinal fortitudinal inductee is hsw, better known as "hsw" in this blog's comments fields. She's yet another frequent contributor to the comments section who's taken the plunge and offered herself up for enshrinement into the UWHOF. The fact that she has chosen not to reveal her actual real-life name should not be a concern, nor does it diminish her bravery or courage or intestinal fortitude. Why? Well, because she has a tattoo! That's right, a tattoo! Tattoos are awesome! Her bravery and courage and intestinal so-and-so is clear and evident because she went through the painful process of getting a tattoo on her back, and that more than makes up for the fact that she's a 'fraidy cat for not revealing her real name. And to the best of my knowledge she is the first inductee ever to have discernible tattoo on her person. Awesome!

So now let's do like we always do when inducting and enshrining a new member in the UWHOF: let's gaze at hsw's photo for a time no shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One-one thousand...

two-one thousand...

Three-one thousand...

Four-one thousand...

Five-one thousand...

Good! So what do you think of her photo? See the tattoo? It's awesome! What do you think it's a tattoo of? I think it's a grizzly bear! Grizzly bears are awesome! Why if I had hsw's bravery and courage and intestinal la-la-la, I'd Segway over to Tatiana's Tattoo Parlor and get me a big old grizzly bear on my back today! But I'm not going to! Because I'm a fraidy cat! Boo me! Yay hsw! She has an awesome tattoo of a grizzly bear on her back!

Another fascinating and refreshing thing about hsw's photo is that she appears to be dancing with a black man. And although he isn't being inducted today, his presence in hsw's enshrinement photo will forever be housed in the friendly equal-opportunity confines of Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. Thus he's the first person of color to appear in the UWHOF, and even though he's isn't an official member, one can only hope that his presence will compel other non-white people to be brave and courageous and intestinal blah-blah-blah enough to apply for admittance. You see, I want my hall of fame to be a rainbow of diversity where all of god's children, white men and black men, Jews and Gentiles, Catholics and Protestants will be able to join hands and sing songs about how wicked awesome my blog is. Not that I won't take more submissions from whiteys, of course, it's just that it would be great to see a little less homogeneity in the make-up UWHOF members.

At any rate, I hereby officially induct hsw into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For her efforts, she has received a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones. Pretty cool prize, no? Well, it can be yours, too. Just put you put on your brave cap, and your courage cape, and your intestinal fortitude ascot, and apply for a membership to the UWHOF by sending me an actual photo of yourself. Come on! What you waiting for, Willises and non-Willises? Apply! Apply! Apply!

This post is dedicated to holding on to what we got because what we got, girl, is not a lot.