Another brave, courageous and full of intestinal fortitude reader has stepped up to the plate and applied to be enshrined into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. Today's inductee is especially special because he is the youngest person ever to be enshrined into the UWHOF. His name is Reed Gleason and he is in the 10th grade. My guess is that makes him about 15. Wow. I can't tell how satisfying it is to know that my site strikes a chord with the youth of today. No matter how many libraries and school systems ban my site from their computers, plucky teens from across the world are finding their in and enjoying my wicked awesome stylings.

It's great because I originally intended Utter Wonder to be a stomping ground for the teenagers, sort of a "Kids Are People, Too" for the twenty-aughts. I have a certain way with the teens, and can connect with them in ways that many adults and regular people cannot. Whether it's through my dope rhymes or spoken word poetry, or through my doughnut recipes or vast knowledge of reality TV, the teens just seem to love me. I get mad respect from the teens. For shizzle. Dawg. But as this site evolved from a tiny faint star in the blogosphere to a tiny less-faint star in the blogosphere, its content became less for the teens, and more about me. There's nothing wrong with it being more about me, for I am a very interesting person with worthy, high-end ideas and shirts. Still, a part of me has always regretted leaving the teens by the wayside. However, today I can rejoice because now that 15-year old Reed Gleason has applied to become a member of the UWHOF it is clear that the teens still love me and my website about me!

Another interesting twist to today's induction is that Reed was nominated for the UWHOF by his high school photography teacher. Apparently Reed was inspired by one of my blog entries and used an excerpt from it in an assignment. (Yet further evidence that the teens think I'm da bomb.) Reed's teacher was so taken by his work that she felt compelled to email me and nominate him for a prestigious place in the UWHOF. I couldn't help but be flattered to learn that a teenager had been inspired by my words enough to use them in a photo essay for their 10th grade photography class. I mean, how cool is that? Pretty darn cool. So cool in fact that I've decided to cast aside worries of copyright infringement and back royalties due (for now), and instead focus on just how awesome the teens think I am.

Reed is clearly pretty awesome himself. And I am honored to induct him into the UWHOF. But before I officially do that, it's time to do as we always do-da-do and silently stare at the inductee?s photo for a period not shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One one-thousand...

Two one-thousand...

Three one-thousand...Who's talking? I distinctly heard someone talking. You there, in the back...Yes, you. Stop talking...No, you were talking...I'm sure whatever you saying was very important. Perhaps so important that you should share it with the rest of the class...No, really. I insist. We'll just stop everything so you can tell us just what was so important that you had to tell your friend about it during the induction ceremony. So go ahead, tell us....That wasn't nice. Not at all. If don't have something nice to say then you shouldn't say it. Didn't your parents teach you that? Besides, I'll have you know that these pants do indeed fit me. I like them baggy. It's a stylistic choice...Stop laughing. Class, stop laughing. Stop it now...Okay, then, let's continue staring at Reed's photo...

Four one-thousand...

Five one-thousand...

Okay. There. So what do we think of the strapping young lad's photo? I am quite fond of it. Mainly because I, like Reed, am a fan of hanging around in tall grass. Not sure why. Just feels like home, I guess. I was raised by rabbits, you know. No I wasn't. Made that up. Thought the teens would be captivated to learn how I was raised in tall grass by rabbits. The teens love rabbits. Anyway, Reed is very savvy to understand what appearing on Utter Wonder will do for his social life. Given how much the teens love me, Reed's admission into UWHOF will make him an instantly popular eating companion in his school's cafeteria. And as we all know, your social status in high school is all relevant to who you sit with at lunch time. Oh, god how I know that.

So without further a-dee-da-doo, I hereby officially enshrine Reed Gleason as the fourteenth inductee into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For his bravery and courage and his intestinal fortitude, Reed has received a signed copy of a fan letter I wrote Star Jones that is suitable for framing and taping to the inside of your locker. Remember readers, the UWHOF is open to any and all who are brave and courageous and intestinal yadda-yadda-yadda enough to send me an actual picture of themselves to post on Utter Wonder. So hop to it, fame seekers: I want to reach twenty inductions by Arbor Day. Apply! Apply! Apply!

This post is dedicated to not-smoking in the boy's room.