You feel it too, right? I mean, it's hard to escape. It's like a real hard wrestling hold to get out of, or a sweater that is three sizes too small. You can't avoid it. Actually neither of those examples are any good. Sorry. Am trying here. I'm not the best when it comes to analogies. Are those even analogies? Metaphors? Similes? Damn it. Great start. Shoot.

Anyway, I still bet you're feeling that inescapable feeling. You are, right? Not sure? Well, just sit still for a second and try to find it. I'll give some time.

...

No luck? Hmm. Well, that's odd. I don't think you're trying hard enough. Come on, work with me. Do I have to do everything? God. This isn't fun at all. Alright, just to move things along, say that you feel it. Pretend for me. Everyone likes to play pretend. I love it. Sometimes I pretend I'm a famous internet writer with a strong sense of fashion. Oh wait; I don't have to pretend that because I actually am that.

Ho!

Alright. Whatever. Be that way. The feeling you should be feeling is the nationwide excitement for Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. Today we have our 15th inductee. That's amazing. I started the Hall of Fame pretty much on a whim. I used it as a response to a person who did not approve of me using their picture on this site. I wanted to show them and the rest of the blogosphere just how awesome it is to appear on Utter Wonder, so I set up the UWHOF. I thought maybe a few loyal readers would apply and eventually everyone would forget about it and move on with their lives.

But oh how I was wrong.

The UWHOF refuses to be forgotten about. Since its inception last June (and including today) we've enshrined 15 members. That's like 1.667 inductions every month! Who would have thought my little hall of fame would take the blogosphere by storm like that? Not me.

And the strong feeling that I'm feeling only suggests that it's going to get even stormier. By this time next year who knows how many inductees there'll be in the UWHOF? Maybe eventually even some famous real-life people will be in the Hall. Man, that would be sweet. You think there are famous real-life people who read Utter Wonder? I hope there are. I wouldn't be surprised if Nancy McKeon or Ray Parker Jr. read this site everyday. Wait; is Ray Parker Jr. still alive? Let me Google him. Hold a sec...Yep! He is! Hi, Ray Parker Jr. I'm really glad you visit my site on a daily basis. Who you gonna call! Ho!

But enough about famous real-life people and how my site brings joy and happiness to their famous real-life lives, today is about our 15th inductee: Mr. Ian Carey. Ian has a popular website of his own. I doubt any famous real-life people read it, but it's still worth checking out. Ian is also a frequent contributor to the comments section of Utter Wonder. Have I mentioned how much I like comments? Well, I do. Ian's are always insightful and funny. It makes me wonder why no real-life famous people visit his site. I think they'd be happy if they did. Another interesting fact about Ian is that he claims to have slept with Meredith Viera. I'm skeptical, but if he says he did I guess we'll have to take his word for it. I mean, if he has slept with her why would he go around and so freely admit to the deed? If god forbid I ever slept with Meredith Viera I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. I hate Meredith Viera. She takes away far too much star-time from Star Jones. I wish Viera would just realize that "The View" is Star Jones. Viera is also single-handedly destroying "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" too. Here's hoping Regis can save it next week.

Anyway, let's do like we do for every UWHOF inductee and silently stare at Ian's picture for a time no shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One-Mississippi...

Two-Mississippi...

Three-Mississippi...

Four-Mississippi...

Five-Mississippi...

Good. So any initial impressions of Ian's picture? I can't decide whether those are the luckiest or unluckiest cans of Pringles ever made. It's obvious that Ian loves his chips, but to just what extreme does he love them? I like chips just as much as the next guy, but something tells me that Ian has taken chip-liking to a whole 'nother level. Ian's tongue is also the first tongue to be featured prominently in the UWHOF. I'm all for tongues, so I'm glad he's stepped up and broken the tongue barrier. That orange shirt of his is quite sporty, too. It clashes some with the Pringles cans, but not everyone is savvy enough like me to avoid clashing with the colors of food containers. That's why you really need to map out what kinds of foods you'll eat everyday before you decide on what color of shirt to wear. For instance, I never wear my purple oxford when I know I'm going to be using Hellmann’s mayonnaise that day. Purple clashes something fierce with Hellmann’s mayonnaise bottles. It's horrid, really.

So without further ado, I hereby officially induct Ian Carey into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For his bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude, Ian has received a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones. It's actually Ian's second signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones, as he won my "Name My NaNoWriMo Novel" contest I held last year. That means other than Star Jones and her lawyers, Ian Carey has the most letters I've ever written to Star Jones.

You can get a letter for yourself, of course, by being brave, courageous and intestinal fortitudinal enough to send me an actual picture of yourself for posting on Utter Wonder. You won't regret it: appearing on Utter Wonder brings you mad power and stuff. Fo Shizzle. So come on! Let's get going! . Send, send, send!

This post is dedicated to that "Shiia fella."