I am by far the best singer of all the daddies at toddler sing. It's not even close. I'm not sure why the other daddies even bother showing up. I wipe the floor with them. After hearing a couple seconds of me singing "Where is Thumbkin?" everyone in the toddler sing room knows it's over and that I am The Man when it comes to daddy singing at toddler sing. The. Man.

Still, every week there's a new daddy who shows up at the library thinking he's got what it takes to supplant me of my Top Daddy Singer at Toddler Sing crown. They mumble-hum through the "Good Morning Song" and think they're the next Raffi. It's pathetic and embarrassing. Everybody knows I am the king of mumble-humming. I could write, like, six moderately sized pamphlets on mumble-singing. Once you've heard me mumble-hum all other mumble-humming will sound like trash to you. I guarantee it. And when I combine my mumble-hum with my singing, well, then you realize just how frickin' bright my star shines.

I am a walking, singing, mumble-humming tower of talent at toddler sing. Everyone at toddler sing recognizes this. The toddler sing singer recognizes this, the other parents and nannies recognize this, and the children recognize this. My sons are so god damn proud of their father it's crazy. They go to bed each night dreaming they'll grow up to be as cool a mumble-hummer and toddler singer as their dad one day.

I am a wonderful father!

I even give the mommies and nannies at toddler sing a run for their money. The better ones think they're all that, but when it comes right down to it, they tremble in my presence. They realize just how much potential I have, and although they might sing a tad better than me now, come this summer (or by the latest this fall) I will probably be the most talented mumble-humming/singing parent/child care provider in the room.

Alright, that's enough about how great I am. I need to go get some practice in. I've been having trouble with the closing lines of "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Can't get my tongue around the "and the itsy bitsy spider climbs up the spout again." I always fumble through that part. I think it was something to do singing and using my hands at the same time. That's tough. But I won't let that hold me down. Nope, I'll just work extra harder, that's all. I don't back down when presented with a challenge--I attack. That's just the way I roll. I attack challenges. That's. Just. The. Way. I. Roll. Because let's face it: you wouldn't expect anything else from a high-end toddler singer. And that's what I am: a high-end toddler singer.

Really.

This post is dedicated to the wheels on the bus goin' swish, swish, swish round and round.