Ooo that smell. Can't you smell that smell? Ooo that smell. That smell of the UWHOF that surrounds you?

Well, I can.

Would it hurt that much to play along? Man. What is it with you? Anyway, it's starting to smell like some UWHOF induction-action up in here whether you think so or not. It's about time, too. We haven't had an induction since early March. What gives? Ah, forget it. This is no time to be bitter. This is a time for celebration! A time to celebrate the latest inductee and to talk about how awesome the Utter Wonder Hall of Fame is!

The UWHOF really is awesome. Seems silly to have to say because everybody knows already knows it. Still, I don't think we should take the awesomeness of the Hall for granted, thus it's more than appropriate to speak about how awesome it is.

It's really awesome.

In just under a year 21 brave and courageous and chock full of intestinal fortitude people have been brave and courageous and chock full of intestinal fortitude enough to apply for the UWHOF. 21 people! People from all walks of life with different backgrounds and from different cultures! Well, yes, all of them have been white thus far, but that hasn't been for lack of trying to diversify the UWHOF. And while I'm on the subject, I again encourage any non-white people to apply. It really is an equal-opportunity-twenty-four-hour-party-people-thang going on here. And don't worry: I won't make a big deal out of how you'd be the first person of color inducted into the Hall or whatever. No, I won't be gettin' all Jackie Robinson or Vecepia on you. It'll be just like any old induction. Really. Okay, well, it might be a little different. You know, because it would be so great and all. I mean, I was brought up to believe that multiculturalism is a very important thing. I was raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts for heavens sakes! Cambridge was like the least segregated city in the whole country for quite a while. Course now nobody but the really rich or the really poor live there and we had to move out because we couldn't afford a two bedroom house with a moderately sized yard, but who cares about that? That's the past. I'm not sad I'm living in the suburbs now. Nope. Sigh. You see the point I'm trying to make here is that multiculturalism runs through my veins like sap through a tree or rule-bending through the Bush Administration. Why I'm a regular walking-talking one-man rainbow coalition!

But that's enough about that. One can only beg and plead for his made up Hall of Fame to be less white for so long. I mean, what's what is what, am I right, people?

Yes, I am.

So let's move on and talk about today's inductee: Jennifer Amey. Jennifer Amey is a writer who hosts a website of her own, as well. Her work can be found far and wide throughout the informational superhighway. Quite frankly, some could say she's a far more heralded writer than yours truly. And I'm okay with that. I mean, there are only so many writers who can write and have a blog and a Hall of Fame. Plus she's Canadian. It makes no difference that she's Canadian, of course, I just thought I'd point that out. They're like a lot of transplanted Jamaicans in Toronto, right? Boy, what I wouldn't do to have a transplanted Jamaican in the UWHOF. God, would that be great? Anyway, as far as I know, Jennifer Amey is not a transplanted Jamaican, but that doesn't mean I'm not as excited about her induction if she was. No, I'm thrilled to have her on board.

So let's do like we always do during a UWHOF induction and stare at our inductee's photo for a duration not shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One-multiculturalism

Two-multiculturalism

Three-multiculturalism

Four-multiculturalism

Five-multiculturalism.

Good. So what do you think of Jennifer Amey's photo? I think it makes her look very literary. She's wears her glasses like she's just read some great big book or something. Great big books intimidate me. I only read moderately-sized to small-sized books. It's hard enough having to read 300 pages, can't imagine having to read 500 of them. But apparently, Jennifer Amey can. More power to her. Literary people should read big, long books, and if that makes me non-literary than so be it.

Hmm. That's actually kind of disappointing. I always fancied myself as literary. I mean, if you take a look at any sample of my work, I think you'd find that I am a very literary writer. Plus, I like use semi-colons all the time--and more often than not correctly--and I think that more than makes up for the fact that I haven't read Ulysses or Roots. So you see I am just as literary as big old fancy pants Jennifer Amey with her Canadianess and her big book reading and her much heralded writing.

Phew. I feel better. So much so that I am primed and ready to officially induct Jennifer Amey Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For her bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude she has earned my undying respect and a signed copy of a fan letter I wrote Star Jones that is more than suitable for framing. My undying respect and a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones that is more than suitable for framing can be yours as well, readers. Simply send me an actual photograph of yourself and your 15 minutes of internet fame shall begin. So come on, hop to it: send, send, send!

This post is dedicated to gourds.