Yes, that's right: yet another Utter Wonder Hall of Fame induction is upon us. Amazing, huh? Some might even say "Oh god, not another one?" But yes, no matter how incredible or annoying it may be, another brave and courageous and intestinal fortitudinal person has strapped on their helmet, adjusted their protective cup, stepped up to the UWHOF plate and said "Pitch to me with everything you got, bad boy!" Well, okay, maybe not that exactly; I added the "bad boy" part. I love that expression. Not that I fancy myself a bad boy or anything. Just like the way it sounds. It's very macho and tough and affectionate. I think so anyway.

So yes, there has been a tidal wave of UWHOF inductions as of late and perhaps some readers are burned out by them. I understand. I mean, it must be hard witnessing so much bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude when you are fearful and weak stomached and can't make yourself apply to the Hall. But don't worry about it: there are worse things in life than being a chicken.

Today's inductee is most definitely not a chicken, though. She's not even in any part of the bird family. Nope, she's more like a wolverine or badger or something. You know, one of those ferocious woodland creatures that back away from nothing and root around for grubs and bugs and stuff. Her name is Whitney Pastorek and she is so brave and courageous and intestinal fortitudinal that even though she has gone on record to say that she hates blogs she is still brave and courageous and intestinal fortitiudinal enough to apply for my blog's Hall of Fame. Now is that bravery? Is that courage? Is that intestinal fortitudinalation? I think so!

Whitney Pastorek is also a terribly accomplished writer with a blog personal website of her own. When not rooting for grubs and bugs and stuff, she spends her time editing the highly respected literary journal Pindeldyboz, singing karaoke, and playing softball with the famous actor Jason Patric. There are also rumors circulating that in the near future she will work at this place. If that's the case I'm hoping for some sort of somethin' somethin' out of it. Like a free subscription or a cover story. Or at the very least Star Jones' cell number.

So now let's do like we always do for a new inductee and stare at Whitney Pastorek's photo for a period of time no shorter than five seconds. BEGIN!

One-One Thousand

Two-One Thousand

Three-One Tousand

Four-One Thousand

Five-One Thousand

Way to go. So, what do you think of Whitney Pastorek's photo? I'm sure her parents would be very proud of her. And they should be. I mean, what makes a parent more proud than seeing their child express their feelings? Our society is pretty repressed as it is, it's about time we see more examples of true self-expression. Of course it's hard not to feel a bit threatened by Whitney Pastorek. For me, it's not so much her bird-flipping; it's her black nail polish. Shivers. Black nail polish always intimidates me. Not sure why. Might have something to do with a babysitter I had when I was a wee C. Darren was his name. Spooky guy. All he ever did was practice his Rocky Horror Picture Show routine. Wasn't very good either. And when I told him so much he always cried. "What do you know!" he'd yell at me, mascara streaming down his alabaster cheeks, "You're nine!" No, it wasn't a lot of fun having Darren as my babysitter. Still don't know why Mom made-out with him.

Anyway, regardless of her black nails I officially induct Whitney Pastorek into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For her bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude she's received a signed copy of a letter I wrote Star Jones. I'm sure she's in the process of deciding where to hang it, because believe you me: the letter is more than suitable for framing and hanging on your wall. You can have one too: just email me an actual photograph of yourself and your fifteen minutes of blog fame will commence! So what you waiting for? Snap-snap! Wink-wink! Nudge-nudge!

This post is dedicated to Spinderella.