I'm sick and tired of people on bicycles using crosswalks to get across the street. Drives me crazy. They can't have it both ways: either you're a pedestrian or you're a vehicle. Make up your mind! Just because you're "saving the environment" with your ozone-loving vehicle doesn't mean you can make me wait for you while you cross the damn street.

I mean, there's nothing more annoying than being stuck in traffic and having some bicyclist push the crosswalk button just as you reach an intersection. They just spent the last five minutes dodging and weaving through traffic while breaking a half-dozen road rules in the process, and then they go make like a walker and push the crosswalk button. They don't even give the courtesy of walking their bike across the street either. It's like as soon as the WALK light goes on they're hot tailing it on their bike across the street. I hate them.

I hate crosswalks too, actually. There's no real need for them. Cars rule the road; that's the way it is and always will be. Therefore us car drivers need more respect. I don't know how many times I've been cruising along listening to my car stereo on full blast and having a grand old drive when all of sudden I have to stop because some grandma or 4th grader wants to cross the street. I frickin' hate that. Why don't they cross the street on someone else's time? Why do they always have to cross it in front of me?

If the government would just take my now two year-old suggestion of installing teen tunnels we wouldn't need crosswalks anymore. Just expand the tunnels so there would be room for everyone else. And if teens want to keep their tunnel for themselves then let the spoiled brats keep their own damn tunnel and build other tunnels for regular people. Nobody wants to watch teens French kiss and break-dance anyway. I don't care just as long as it stops people from crossing the street while I got my drive on listening to Joan Armatrading. Man she's awesome. Nothing better than cruising in my pimp ride and booming some Armatrading. Hell yeah!

So in closing, get the hell out of my way, bicyclists and pedestrians. When you hear the bass line from "Love and Affection" that's the signal for you to hit the sidewalk because I am coming, and I am coming hard and fast. Suckas!

This post is dedicated to the first person who sells one of them missing Kim Jong-Il portraits on eBay.