Occasionally I will get an email from a reader asking me my opinion about something or other. I'm always flattered when I receive one. It's heartening to know that somebody out there would come to me for guidance with their problems. Makes me feel really powerful and beloved, and that's great because I really think I should be both those excellent things.

So with that in mind I'm introducing a new feature on Utter Wonder simply titled "Ask C and You Shall Learn." Yes, it's an incredibly catchy title that will soon sweep the blogosphere with its six-word splendor, but let's not harp on that at this moment. They'll be plenty of time later for T-shirts, and mugs, and thongs with "Ask C and You Shall Learn" on them--because it really is a fantastic title, but for now let's focus on just what "Ask C and You Shall Learn" will entail.

"Ask C and You Shall Learn" will entail me answering whatever questions you have about your life or the world, or somebody else's life and world. Pretty much anything goes, as long as the question is relatively legitimate and typo-free. That's it. Pretty simple premise. So if you're having trouble with your lover, or are stuck in a bad job and seeking a way out just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." If you're wondering what makes me tick, just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." If you fear you might be allergic to peanuts, or by contrast are really annoyed by all these people who suddenly claim that they're allergic to peanuts just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." If you're confused by how Fahrenheit 9/11 can win the People's Choice Award and George W. Bush can be reelected, just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." If you're thinking you might like to buy a Taylor Dayne album, but are unsure on which one, just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." If you're riddled with boils and are longing for a miracle cure, just Ask C...actually, don't ask C. (Boils kind of freaks me out.) But if you're an attractive celebrity who would like me to write erotic poetry for you, just "Ask C and You Shall Learn." I'm all about erotic poetry! It's nothing like boils!

So bring it on. Email me your questions and concerns and soon this new and exciting feature will be on its way. Even better yet, I'll have one less new idea to come up with for writing in my blog! It's a win/win thing for us all: you get answers; I get more time on my XBOX. Spectacular!

This post is dedicated to Willie Shoemaker.