We're still digging out from this past weekend's massive snowstorm, thus I'm unable to offer a full entry today. We're also regrouping from Gene Simmons' tame judging on American Idol 4. So instead of some hilarious entry about the Trump wedding, or the upcoming "elections" in Iraq, or losers like this guy, I give you another dramatic photo of the view from my front porch.

You've no doubt noticed that our car is not there. That's because I was brave and ventured out yesterday. Yep; I'm a big man who does what it takes to provide for his family. Plus we were out of cookies. There's nothing worse than being out of cookies. I mean, I have a growing gut to support. It needs cookies. So to the cookie store I went. I lucked out too as there was a parking spot right in front of the place. After a long drought things were finally seeming to go my way. More encouraging was discovering that the store had my favorite cookies for sale: Lemon Poppyseed Puffs. I love poppyseeds. Anything with poppyseeds and I'm like, that's poppyseederrific! So I bought two dozen of them and I knew soon that my gut would be happy and full. But when I walked out of the store I found a big, mean looking man hitching my car to a tow truck. I tried to reason with him, but he took offense to my name-calling and soon the authorities arrived in their big boots and ill-fitting pants.

"I just stopped for five minutes to buy cookies," I explained.

"It's a snow emergency," the lumpy police officer answered, "you can't park here."

"Snow emergency? But it's not snowing anymore!"

"Yeah, but the emergency hasn't been lifted yet."

I'm sorry," I said. "I'll move the car, just please don't tow it. I need to get back to my warm house so I can begin eating these cookies."

"Sorry, your car has already been tagged," the officer said handing me a $150 ticket. Man, was he ever lumpy.

"$150!?! You're giving me a ticket for $150!?!"

"Yes, I am."

"But it's not like I committed a felony or anything! Jeeze. A fine like that makes me think you know about the dead kittens in my yard or something."

Animal control should arrive sometime before noon today. Until then I'll just sit here and wait, eating the remaining Lemon Poppyseed Surprises, weeping. But you go out and have a great day. Do it for me. Stay gold, Ponyboy, and all that.

This post is dedicated to Anchorage, Alaska.