The spray hose on our kitchen sink broke this week, but I replaced it with no problem at all. My Lady had little faith that I could, but I showed her.

I rocked that busted spray hose OUT. I got under the sink and started pulling and unscrewing things and eventually, after a friend of mine came over and told me specifically which thing to pull and unscrew, I removed the busted hose like a pro. I was in a ZONE.

Then Lil' Buddy and I went to the local hardware store and bought a new spray hose. I didn't even have to ask someone what aisle the spray hoses were in. I just walked around for twenty minutes and found it MYSELF. Hell yeah! I'm my own man!

With the new spray hose in tow, I arrived home and ate a ham sandwich. I was starving. Fortunately, the ham sandwich was mad tasty! I put some honey mustard on that bad boy. That shit was TIGHT. So after I ate the sandwich and rinsed off the plate and loaded it into the dishwasher, I scooted under the sink and got bizzy with it. I attached the hose to the faucet sprayer nipple -- YEA, THAT'S RIGHT: IT'S CALLED A "SPRAYER NIPPLE" -- and five hours later our kitchen sprayer was as good as new.

Now I just stand around the kitchen sink and turn the water off and on, marveling at my awesome accomplishment. I fixed the kitchen sink, yo! I bet next time something in the house breaks My Lady won't question whether I can fix it or not.

I'm starting to think there's nothing I can't do. Hoses, valves, metal knob thingies, whatever: it's all a piece of cake to old C. I'm a monster! But sorry, ladies: You're gonna have to find some other superman to repair your faucet sprayer nipples! This here boy is already taken!

Peace out!

This post is dedicated to paper towels.