So for a while now I've been writing another blog. Yes, I've been cheating on you with another blog. I'm sorry. It's not like I planned to have a mistress blog on the side. It sort of just happened. I'm not going to make any excuses. I did what I did and what's done is done. And it was the most wonderful six weeks of my blog life.

The other blog is called I'm Stuck in Rehab with Pat O'Brien. It's a fictional blog narrated by a person who's stuck in drug rehab with the television personality Pat O'Brien. I started writing it on a Monday and (thanks to a link from the Defamer) by Thursday 10,000 people had visited the site. 10,000. Now I know that's what some big time blogs get in an hour, but for me, who's used to about 7.42 visitors day on Utter Wonder, it was pretty damn wonderful.

So I kept writing and people kept reading. It was great to write for such a large audience. The blog was getting over a thousand hits a day. And it wasn't like most of the hits were from random people Googling for naked pictures of Angela Lansbury or something. Nope, nearly all of the traffic was coming from people who had bookmarked the site. I've written lots of stuff online over the last few years, but nothing I've done has had as large and steady an audience as I'm Stuck in Rehab with Pat O'Brien has had.

Needless to say I was very excited about it all. My family, on the other hand, was less enthused. They complained that I forever told them how awesome I was for having a popular blog. Jealousy is a terrible thing. So what if I bragged and boasted every now and then? It was well deserved. Heck, USA Today mentioned my new blog. Has USA Today mentioned any of them recently? No! So instead of whining about their lack of USA Today coverage, they should have been proud of mine and not given me such a hard time when I neglected to clear the table after a dinner a few times. I mean, I'd become a famous blogger; table clearing was beneath me. Think the Instapundit clears the table after dinner? I think not. My family should have been grateful that I still do it at all. And so what if I forget to put the pickle relish away? Like pickle relish is going to go bad after sitting out for a night. There are more important things than pickle relish, like fame and fortune and how awesome it was that I had a thousand people tuning into my blog to read my words every day.

Anyway, I digress. It doesn't really matter now anyway; I decided last week to discontinue writing my Pat O'Brien blog. The real Pat O'Brien checked out of rehab and it seemed as good as time as any to call it quits. Plus it was hard writing two blogs. Pretty much all my time was devoted to thinking about what I would write for each of them. That meant no XBOX playing, no watching The View, no parenting my children, and worst of all, no XBOX playing. A man needs his fun time, my friends. This man, anyway.

So last Friday was the final update. A part of me can't believe I'm giving up a big audience, but after a few hours of playing Doom III I'm guessing I'll get over it. And who knows, maybe my Pat O'Brien readers will become regular visitors here, and perhaps my numbers will grow and grow to point that one day I'll find a mention of Utter Wonder in USA Today. Oh, that would be so sweet. I'd never have to clear the table after dinner ever again!

This post is dedicated to Mark McGrath.