Fashion Highs and Lows of the Westboro Baptist Church. Posted 06/13/2005 07:17 AM by cmonks
in > critiques.
I'm a fan of fleece anything, especially headbands, and this WBC member looks pretty sharp in hers. I like the way the royal blue band compliments her pale blue parka. Her outfit celebrates the brightness of winter, and it's easy to applaud somebody with such an optimistic view of what often is the most dreary of seasons. GRADE: A-
Grandma's rolled up pants aren't doing her any favors. It'd be one thing if her shins were worth showing, but they aren't. I typically try to avoid making sweeping generalizations, but Westboro Baptist Church members have by far the most unattractive shins of any hate group in the country. As for the grandson, his hooded sweatshirt is trendy enough, but one wonders why he's wearing velcro-laced sneakers. He appears to be old enough to know how to tie his shoes. Perhaps he's "special." GRADES: Grandma: C
Grandson: B-
I like the sunglasses the woman is wearing. They're small and trendy and fit her face nicely. She's appears very happy about them, too. Or maybe she just heard a funny homophobic joke. The teenage boy, on the other hand, looks as though he's been wearing that outfit for days. I can smell him just by looking at his picture. I bet he hasn't cleaned his room in months. His sheets are probably teeming with all kinds of fluid stains. Shivers! GRADES: Woman: B+
Teenager: D-
I find this photo a bit curious. Based on the crowd viewing this WBC member, it looks like she's at some sort of hate group fashion show. However, I don't know what's up with the black t-shirt and shorts with a navy blue sun visor. You mean to tell me there wasn't a black sun visor lying around somewhere? That's hard to believe, especially at a fashion show. What was she thinking? She could have at least borrowed a sheet from one of the Klan models and made a bandanna out of it or something. White and black go much better together than blue and black. GRADE: C-
Oh dear: guy on the left is sporting a fanny pack. How unhip can one religious hate group member be? To make matters worse he's wearing it in the front, thus no longer rendering it a fanny pack, but a "crotch pack." Mercy. I don't know, perhaps he wants to direct our attention towards his crotch. I'm not sure. If I had my choice, I'd opt not to be drawn towards staring at his crotch, but that crotch pack of his just keeps beckoning me to stare at it. I wonder if he's circumcised? GRADE: D+
This post is dedicated to ceiling fans.
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