If a tree falls in the Utter Wonder Hall of Fame does it make a sound? You bet it does! It goes "Timmmmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!"

Ho!

Thank you!

[ahem]

Um, yeah, so I thought I'd kick off this induction with a little joke because typically I find the opening lines of an induction are always the hardest to write. So I went with a joke for today's opening. Not sure why I find the start of an induction difficult to write, maybe because I'm blinded by each inductee's bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude. Not sure. I also could just be tired of writing these inductions.

Ho!

That was a joke!

Thank You!

[ahem]

No, I never grow tired of writing UWHOF inductions. Ever. Nope. Nada. And I'm sure that none of you are tired of reading them. No, I bet each and every one of you longs for the next induction to be posted in hopes it will inspire you to finally submit a photo of yourself for the Hall.

Yep.

Anyway, I just re-read this and realized that the joke I told at the beginning doesn't really make much sense without knowing who today's inductee is. You see, his name is Timber Masterson. So when I wrote "Timmmmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!" it was kind of a play on words. Or something. Get it? No? Well, let me write the joke again and see if you get it this time. Remember: today's inductee's name is "Timber." Okay, here's the joke again:

If a tree falls in the Utter Wonder Hall of Fame does it make a sound? You bet it does! It goes "Timmmmmmmmmberrrrrrrrr!"

Ho!

Thank you!

[ahem]

Alright, so maybe the joke just sucks. Whatever. At least I tried starting things off a little differently with this induction. I should get credit for that, anyway. Jeeze. Tough crowd.

Enough about you and your lameness; let's devote the rest of our time today to Timber Masterson, the 39th inductee to Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. Timber is an actor, writer and serial emailer based in Toronto. His writing has appeared far and wide across the super informational highway. Links to all his stories as well as a photo of him wearing bunny slippers can be found at his site, Timbermedia.com. In fact, a whole lot of stuff can be found there. It's like a one stop shop for all things Timber-related. It's quite dazzling!

Speaking of dazzling, let's do like we always do for our inductees and stare at Timber's photo for at least five seconds. Begin!

One one-dazzled...

Two one-dazzled...

Three one-dazzled...

Four one-dazzled...

Five one-dazzled...

Well done! So what do we think of Timber's photo? I think it's kind of dazzling myself. It makes a Glamour Shot look like mug shot. In fact the photo is so good that one wonders if it's really him. It almost looks as if he simply bought a frame and submitted the photo that came with it. However, he's not on a beach or at wedding, and pretty much all photos that come with frames are set at a beach or a wedding. Sometimes a pet store, too. Not sure what it is about beaches and weddings and pet stores, but frame makers just love them. I do, too. Who wouldn't? Beaches and weddings and pet stores are fantastic. That's why I love this country! At any time I can go into a frame store and buy a frame with a photo of a person or golden retriever at the beach or a wedding or a pet store and thank my lucky stars I'm American. Good luck doing that some place else, like Uruguay. In Uruguay most frames come photo-less. What kind of way to live is that?

Anyway, without further ado, I hereby officially induct Timber Masterson into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For his bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude Timber has received a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones. It's more than suitable for framing. It's not set at the beach or a wedding or a pet store, but still it's worthy of a frame. Trust me!

If you yourself would like to show some bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude, simply send me an honest to goodness photo of yourself and you'll soon be on your way to fair-to-middling blog fame!

This post is dedicated to entering Doodleday's caption contest.