"You're a cute little guy," Otto said, "but you're a penguin and I don't take orders from flightless birds."

"I'm not a penguin," the penguin said. "I'm Morris, the Ugandan leprechaun. Stop squinting."

Otto opened his eyes wide and in a jiffy the penguin turned into what he said he was: Morris the not-so-evil Ugandan leprechaun. "How 'bout that," he said.

"Come on, Otto," Morris said. "Let's go."

They found Officer Shelton standing next to a white door with a metal handle. He looked proud of his discovery. "I think this leads to the stairwell," he said.

"That's a refrigerator," Morris said.

"It is?" Officer Shelton asked. He opened the door to reveal a dozen or so cases of strange-tasting hot dogs. "Sure enough," he said. "It's a refrigerator. Sorry. My bad."

"But where's that door next to it lead to?" Morris asked pointing to a door next to the refrigerator.

"Oh," Officer Shelton muttered. "I didn't notice that one."

"Well, open it," Morris suggested.

And so Officer Shelton opened the door next to the refrigerator. Revealing this time a long line of many men between the ages of 18-35. The line stretched down a hallway and as far as they could see.

"No cutting," the last man in line said. He appeard to be about 36 and above-average in the looks department.

"No cutting?" Officer Shelton asked.

"Yeah," the man said. "We've been here since last week, so don't even think about cutting in."

"What are you in line for, lad?" Otto asked. He was becoming more comfortable with his Irish accent.

"You're joking right?" the man asked. "We're waiting to buy an XBOX 360. This is the line at Best Buy Hasselhoffer Castle"

"Oh," Officer Shelton said. "Forgot there was a Best Buy in here."

"Yeah, right" the guy said. "I see through your act, Mister. No way in hell I'm letting you cut me in line."

"We don't want to cut you line," Officer Shelton said. "We've just been stuck in the basement for a long time and we want to get out."

"I've heard that one before," the man said. "Listen, just take your place in line behind me and deal. I don't have time for anymore monkey business. I've been waiting for my college basketball video game to arrive in the mail for close to three weeks now, so I'm pretty much on edge. In other words: don't mess with me. I'm getting my XBOX 360 before you and that's the end of it."

"Wait," Otto said. "You look familiar to me. What's your name, lad?"

"What's it to you, Old McDonald?" the above-average man asked him.

"Well, it's just that you remind me of another 36-year-old above-average lad I know."

"The name is C. C Monks."

"Oh," Otto said. "Sorry, I must be thinking of someone else."

This post is dedicated to Leif Garret.