Okay, so apparently the cartoon many Muslims are angry about was not of Marmaduke, but of some guy named Mohammed, who I guess is their captain or something. My bad. I probably should have listened to the news more carefully. It's just that whenever I hear the words "controversy" and "cartoon" I immediately think "Marmaduke!" I don't think I'm alone in that.

In other news, Michael Tomlinson has gone missing. He was supposed to leave for the airport last night, but when I went to his room to tell him his horse taxi was here he was nowhere to be found. All his stuff was still there, though, including his guitar. It's not like a singing/songwriter to leave without his guitar.

I smell something fishy.

No, really: I smell something fishy. My new lover Trinka is making sheep sticks. She fries them in cod liver oil to make them taste more like fish sticks. She's pretty ingenious. That's why I love having fantastic sex with her and my Omega-3 count is so high.

Speaking of which, a few of you have written in complaining about me writing so much about the fantastic sex my new lover Trinka have. I don't really see what the problem is. It's not like my descriptions are gratuitous or anything. And even if they were they'd be so well-written that people would be blown away and not bothered by how lewd and dirty my descriptions were. But, alas, I shan't be going into graphic detail about the fantastic sex that MNLT and I have. I believe some things are better kept between a man and the woman he's having fantastic sex on with.

Have a nice weekend.

This post is dedicated to turtles.