hey everyone. i'm not c monks. c monks is on vacation in america. i'm gene. i write pompadoured and edit bear parade. i'll be here all week, in denmark.

denmark is nice. i'm glad i have a good reason to visit. it's really pretty here, and i can already tell it's going to be a wonderful and relaxing experience. the women look hot, and the people speak gibberish, and everyone loves americans, too.

i expect everything here to be like, i don't know, a bizzaro hooters or something. it's going to be awesome. i want some chicken wings.

things have been a little crazy since i arrived yesterday, but in a land filled with windmills and clogs and bjørn wiinblad, you expect to see some interesting things. things with weird letters. hamlet everywhere. ceramics. it's okay. i'm doing well here. i made some new friends already.

denmark is such a friendly country that i made new friends before i even left the airport terminal. i'm six-foot five with a shaved head, so you'd think people might be a little intimidated by me. i'm huge. but to my surprise, there were a bunch of guys at the copenhagen airport that looked just like me, and we totally hit it off. it was great. they bought me some drinks, and even though i don't speak gibberish well, we hung out for like five hours drinking strong beers with names i couldn't pronounce. it was awesome. we laughed. i said "hans christian andersen" like eighteen times.

things are different here. good, but different. i may not be used to the way the danes carry themselves, but this could be good for me. so strong and honest. klaus, one of my new friends, greets every muslim we come across with this burning and intense stare. it's a deep running connection with these danes. i can feel it. it's multicultural and doesn't seem to hold any racial bias, and i identify with that. i appreciate people building honest bonds. this country is great. this is going to be great. i'm so happy i met klaus and his friends.

i've got to go now. klaus said something in gibberish about going to a mosque later for what i assume is a support rally or raffle or something, and now we're going to a real danish hardware store to pick up some supplies. i can't imagine anything going wrong in this place. it's so perfect here. denmark is like some big giant hooters with all sorts of people being happy and spinning windmills of beer and hot women with low-cut shirts serving wings. nothing is going to ruin this trip. nothing could possibly go wrong.