Awesome post title, no? Yep, I'm going to get lots of Google referrals from that one. I'm a genius. Wish I had something clever to add to drive it home, but I don't. I'm still a genius, though. Better yet, I'm a genius who's going on vacation. That's right, I'm hitting Hilton Head for the third straight year. Hilton Head has become my southern home away from home. It's a wonderful place, full of sun and golf and lots of rich white people. You can't beat it, really. It's great living like a republican for a week every year.

"We're winning the war!!"

Wow. That was cathartic. I, of course, don't think we're winning the war, but since I'll be a republican this time tomorrow I figured I'd get a head start. Felt surprisingly good. Let's try another.

"The liberal-controlled media is out to get us!"

Woo-wee! This feels awesome! The liberal media should just leave us rich white people alone. Can't they see that we're vacationing in the sun and fun? That's important! If we don't have fun vacations the terrorist will win. That's why all the poor people are fighting the war for us. Why the lefty media doesn't get this is beyond me. Okay, let's try some more...

"God's on our side!"

"We can't comment on that because we're at war and don't want to reveal our secrets to the enemy!"

"Donald Rumsfeld is the best thing to ever happen to the United States military!"

"Jesus loves us best!"

"No comment!!"

"We're more patriotic than you!"

"No comment!"

"No comment!"

"Let's get leaking!"

"No comment!"

"Honest, officer, I didn't know she was 14 when we first met on AOL!"

Wow! I forget how fantastic it feels to be a republican. It's like a huge weight has been lifted. It's awesome not feeling responsible for anything. This vacation is going to rock!

It will be weird being with My Ex-Lady for a whole week, but just because she's failed to see how marvelous I am doesn't mean I'm gonna let her take my republican week away from me. I just hope her new boyfriend Francisco limits his Speedo wearing time. I can't stand it when he trots around in that thing. Gives me the heebie-jeebies something fierce.

While I'm gone you'll be in the good hands of Gene Morgan (UWHOF #22). Be nice to him. He just had a birthday. I'll be back on Monday, April 24th.

Have a nice weekend.

This post is dedicated to retired generals.