Sit up striaght, people: it's UWHOF induction time again. We're now up to 45 inductees. You can't help but be moved by that. No, really, try it. Stay still. Try to stay perfectly still. I bet you can't help moving. Here, let's try...

"We're up to 45 inductees in Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame!"

See? You moved. No, you did. I saw you. Doesn't matter that I can't physically see you; I know you moved. You sort of tilted to the right a little. Don't try to tell me you have vertigo because you don't, and even if you do, it wasn't the vertigo that made you move. Blame vertigo on being a fainty loser, but don't blame vertigo on tilting you to the right just now.

I myself have been brought to the verge of tears by this news. 45! That's phenomenal. And so what if most people who apply to the Hall are only looking for some publicity, it's my blog's hall of fame and by last count that means it has 45 more members than any other blog's hall of fame.

The Utter Wonder Hall of Fame kicks ass! It would so win in a fight against any other blog's hall of fame, except of course, if the opposing hall of fame had a weapon. It's hard to win a fight when your opponent is carrying and you're not. Fair fights are so rare these days. What's the world coming to?

Anyway, Tracy Berna is the name of the 45th inductee into the UWHOF. There's a lot to know about Tracy, like 88 different things. That's a lot. I'm not sure there are 88 things to know about me. I suppose I could try to come up with them, but chances are it would only end in severe depression. When she's not coming up with random things about herself, Tracy sings, blogs, designs, and writes cartoons. To top it off she also found the time not to link to Utter Wonder. I'm not bitter about that, though. You see, because If I was I wouldn't be inducting her into my hall of fame. This is yet more proof that I am a big man that doesn't yearn for the approval of virtual strangers through them linking to me from their blogs. Yep. I'm huge.

So now let's do like we always do for an inductee and stare at Tracy Berna's photo for a period of time not shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One-one Big Man...

Two-one Big Man...

Three-one Big Man...

Four-one Big Man...

Five-one Big Man...

Well done! So what do we think of Tracy's photo. Yes, it's on the small side, but a wee Tracy is better than no Tracy at all--that's what Spencer Tracy used to tell all the ladies--OH, COLD BUSTED! Sorry, that was out of line (RIP, Spence!) Spencer Tracy has nothing to do with this. This is all about Berna, Tracy. It's hard to tell where she was when the pic was taken. There are leaves in the background, behind her flowing blonde hair, so perhaps she is in the forest, foraging for stuff and coming up with yet more ways not to link to my site. I mean, she has like 50,000 links on her page, you'd think she'd throw me a bone. Whatever. Let her forage, I don't care. And if the mountain lions get her, so be it.

But before she's mauled we might as well officially induct Tracy Berna in Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For her induction Tracy has received a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones. Per usual the letter is more than suitable for framing. In fact, as signed copy of fan letters to daytime television personalities go, it is easily the most suitable for framing. It would totally win in a fight against any other signed copy of a fan letter to a daytime television personality. So bring on that weak shit, signed copy of fan letters to Meredith Viera! You're so going down! Just as soon as you put down that knife.