I have an interview with actor/comedian David Cross in the latest issue of Mean magazine. I'd link directly to it, but the interview is so powerful that the magazine editors decided to leave it off the website. So you have to go to your local newsstand to buy the thing. It's only 6 bucks. Not too shabby, especially since there's an interview with Zooey Deschanel in it, as well.

Given my recent infatuation with Zooey Deschanel it's pretty ironic that my first big celebrity interview would be featured in the same magazine she's featured in. Yeah, I guess it would have been more ironic had my first big celebrity interview had been with her instead of David Cross, but whatever. Who made you the irony police, anyway? Sheesh.

Anyway, for those who are prone to skimming, my interview with Cross is on the last page. I ask him questions about fame and stuff. We did the interview over the phone, four hours after I had busted my chin open while playing basketball. I actually had to call him from the emergency room to say that I'd have to postpone the interview until later that afternoon. It was kind of surreal leaving a message on David Cross's voicemail from the hospital with a bloodied chin. Not as surreal as leaving a message on Zoory Deschanel's voicemail from the hospital with a bloodied chin, but whatever. Oh, so you're a surreal cop now, too, huh? Mommy must be so proud.

As a bonus, I figured I'd post one part of the interview that didn't make the final cut. This exchange occurred about two-thirds of the way into our conversation. It went like this:

ME: What role do trendy T-Shirts play in the life of a famous person?

CROSS: What?

ME: What role do trendy T-shirts play in the life of a famous person?

CROSS: That question is so ridiculous I don't know how to answer it.

ME: You know, you know how, how famous people wear clever, trendy T-shirts.

CROSS: …

ME: It just seems like a lot of famous people go out of their way to wear trendy T-shirts and—

CROSS: Yeah, I got it. But [the question] just sounds like you're trying to be clever.

ME: You're right. I'm sorry.

It was the worst twenty-seven seconds of my summer. The rest of the interview went pretty well, though. So go buy Mean magazine and read the rest of it. And tell the newsstand guy you know me. He'll have no idea what you're talking about, but you will at least have made a connection with a new person, and that sort of thing is good for you.

This post is dedicated to Epinephrine.