Time to break out the party favors, peeps: another UWHOF induction is in the hizzy! Hooooo! Ain't no party like a UWHOF party, y'all! Whoop-whoop!

Oh boy, do I have my finger on the pulse of popular culture or what? I mean, I just used the word "hizzy". I am so with it it's crazy. God. Hard to believe I'm late 30-something. I should write a book for people who want to stay with it even though they're old and whatnot. I'd call the book "How to Stay Young in the Hizzy, Hizzies!" It'd be a bestseller. For hizzy!

Hizzy! Hizzy! Hizzy!

Anyhizzy, it's indeed induction time again. Today's honoree is Tyler B. He's the first inductee to use only an initial for his last name. It's little quirky facts like this that make hall of fame inductions so wonderful. Tyler is also the first inductee who's killed a baby seal with his bare hands. That's right UWHOF members: there's a baby seal killer in the hizzy!

Okay, I made that up. As far as I know Tyler B hasn't ever killed a baby seal with his bare hands or anything else. In fact, that would be kind of creepy if he had (even if my history with seals is sorta shaky). Not sure if I would accept him. It would be a tough call. On the one had, he's brave and courageous and intestinal fortitudinal enough to send in his pic, but on the other hand, the dude killed a baby seal with his hands. Yucko.

Thankfully, though, that's not an issue, as Tyler B has never killed a baby seal with his own hands. I don't think. I mean, I didn't ask him if he had or not. Hmmm. Maybe I should have. Damn it.

Well, it's too late now to do anything about it, so let's move on and do like we always do during an induction and stare at the our inductee's pic for no shorter than five seconds. Begin!

One-one defenseless baby seal...

Two-one defenseless baby seal...

Three-one defenseless baby seal...

Four-one defenseless baby seal...

Five-one defenseless baby seal...

Well done! So what do we think of Tyler B's photograph? I thinking if I was a baby seal I'd be a nervous wreck. What's Tyler B looking at? Looks like he's lost in thought or something. Or maybe there's a baby seal nearby and he's deciding on the best way to take it out. I bet he'll use that beer bottle he's holding. Oh god, what a horrible way to kill a baby seal! Why can't he have just use a gun or smother it with a pillow? Death by beer bottle is way inhumane. Jesus, he's totally ruining his induction party. Way to go, Tyler B.

Oh well. What's done is done. Let's go ahead and officially induct Tyler B into Utter Wonder's Hall of Fame. For his bravery and courage and intestinal fortitude, he's won himself a signed copy of a fan letter I sent Star Jones that is more than suitable for framing. I'm sure by now he already has it hanging in his hizzy. Amongst all his baby seal pelts. Yeesh. Nonetheless, congrats Tyler B!

You too can be immortalized in the best fair-to-middling blog hall of fame in all the blogosphere. Simply send me an actual photo of yourself and your life as you know it will forever change. Probably.