I'm taking a personal day today. Don't ask why because it's personal. And that reminds me: stop being such a busybody. God. My business is my business. I'm a very powerful unemployed fair-to-middling blogger who's ten pounds overweight but still just as striking as ever. Why can't you see this? I don't have time to deal with you and your nosiness--I have television to watch! Video games to play! And more television to watch!

I mean, jeepers, peepers!

So know big blog entry from me today. I don't care if you want to know why. I'm not telling. And I do realize that I used the wrong "no" in the first sentence of this paragraph. I don't have time to go back and change it. Why don't I have time? Wouldn't you like to no, fink. Well, sorry, nope, not gonna tell you.

You see, it would waste too much of my time and I got things to do, important and powerful things that I prefer to keep private. If you can't accept that then I think you should find some other fair-to-middling blogger desperate enough for your nosey attention that they're willing to tell you anything about their less-exciting-than-mine personal life. But as for me, that's just not how I roll. No, instead I stop, drop to floor, and roll to the nearest exit. Stop, drop, and roll, mubberjubbers! That's how we did it in the 02138 and that's how I do it now, yo. It's by far the best way. I just wish I haven't been involved in so many house fires. It's not fair.

So move along. There's nothing to see here. I'm busy and it's personal. Go do something else, like nominate me for most humorous blog at the 2007 Bloggies. That's if you haven't done it already. Can't vote twice. I know; I've tried. Seventeen times.

This post is dedicated to the Artic Circle.