I'm sorry, but I don't think people and lions have any business making out. It's unseemly. Don't they know there's a war going on? It's bad enough having to hear about all the atrocities in Iraq; seeing a woman frenching a lion makes it all the worse. They should have at least taken it inside, either to his cage or the room she rents at the Y. I wonder how many children had to witness their face-sucking. All those kids are probably ruined now. I bet in ten years the world will be inundated with loose teenagers running around, making out with lions. Ugh. That's so not sexy.

Getting whacked by Tigger, on the other hand, I'm all for. In fact, I think Tigger should whack more people. They should make it a law or something, force him to whack at least three people a day, preferably teenage boys, like the means ones who live next door to me. That would teach them.

I'm more of a cat guy than a dog guy. Mice I can take or leave. But a cat sitting on a dog? Now way. Not gonna have it. It's just not right. Do cows go around sitting on dolphins? I think not. Admittedly, that makes little to no sense, but still, you get the picture: cats and dogs fraternizing is stupid and dumb and for the love of god why hasn't Pat Robertson condemned it already??? And not for nothing, but should a cow ever think about sitting on a dolphin I'm just going to give up. You read right: I'm going to flat out give up. I'll just drop my donut, head for the nearest zoo, and give the first lion I see a big kiss right on its smacker.

This post is dedicated to anything starring Delta Burke.