There's a disc jockey on one of my local radio stations that keeps referring to the singer Akon as "Acorn." The DJ says that Akon loves it when he calls him that, as if they are best friends or something and it's no big thing. But I'm 99.2% sure that the DJ and Akon aren't best friends; it's just a lie the DJ tells so listeners will think he's cool and stuff. Arrgh. Drives me bonkers.

I bet Akon doesn't even know that the DJ calls him "Acorn." If he did you'd think he'd file some sort of injunction on the DJ. I would. I mean, acorns are stupid; only squirrels and hippies eat them. I wouldn't want anybody to call me "Acorn." I'd much rather be a called "Pecan" or "Walnut" or "Captain Wicked Cool Awesome."

That reminds me: you all must refer to me as "Captain Wicked Cool Awesome" from now on. No more of this "C" business. If I can figure out how to change the banner on top of the blog I'll change it to "The Idle Thoughts of Captain Wicked Cool Awesome." I know, right: it just rolls off the tongue.

I've never really had a nickname. Well, that's not completely true. I just haven't had one that I've liked. Regardless, my hope is that "Captain Wicked Cool Awesome" will really take off. ("Cap'n WCA" would be okay, too) I think it suits me perfectly. Yeah, I know, I'm not a captain, but I am wicked and cool and awesome. Most of the time, anyway. When I haven't had a donut in a while I get grumpy and the lowers my wickedness from time to time, but all the same, low wickedness for me is like the the same level of wickedness for a normal person.

Have a nice weekend.

This post is dedicated to baroque anything.