I'm happy to report that I survived Talk Like Pirate Day without having to deal with anyone talking like a pirate. I can't tell you what a relief this is. I was walking around on pins and needles yesterday, worrying about what I' d do if somebody started talking like a pirate at me. There would have been nothing I could have done about it because it was an Internet-sanctioned holiday. So I would have just had to bite my tongue and take it. I really mean it when I say I can't put into words how happy I am that Talk Like a Pirate Day is over.

Both my parents were murdered by pirates.

This post is dedicated to Little Rock, Arkansas.