Utter Wonder: The Idle Thoughts Of C. Monks

The Crossing Guard.

Posted 12/07/2007 07:48 AM by cmonks in We Need To Talk About A Trait of Yours That Troubles Me.

Things aren't working out between me and the new crossing guard. I've tried, I really have, but we just aren't clicking. Every morning The Chosen One and I wait patiently at the curb for him to wave us across, and when he gives us the all clear I always politely thank him. But he never offers anything in return. Instead he just stands there, acting like he doesn't even know I exist. He's not like that with other parents. He always has a "Good Morning!" or "Have a nice day" for them. But for me? Nothing.

Aaargh. I knew I shouldn't have put that sex tape I found of him on the internet. If I could take it back, I would. But what's done is done.

We all have our sex tapes, Don. Man up and move one.

This post is dedicated to Renaldo Nehemiah.

Comments.

I could have lived the rest of my life with out Blogvent day #7. What kind of nets do those guys use?

Posted by: Sharon at 12/07/2007 11:37 AM

Where, oh where, do you get these pictures?

Posted by: Patti at 12/07/2007 11:42 AM

Ok... funniest post in a while. The picture is the capper.

Posted by: Brad at 12/07/2007 02:53 PM

Mr. Monks,

That tape was very special and private. It was meant to be kept between myself and Meg White, and NOBODY else, especially not some father who thinks it's his right to go through the crossing guard's knapsack looking for a "little snack." Now, the night that myself and Meg had, after her concert in the Canadian North, will be ruined forever. It's my sincere hope that The Chosen One doesn't get clipped by a taxi cab, or something, because the crossing guard was distracted, thinking about how the best night of his life was ruined.

Posted by: Don, the crossing guard at 12/07/2007 04:26 PM

It wasn't all THAT, Don. --- Meg

Posted by: blighty at 12/07/2007 05:32 PM

Hell, man up and move two!

Posted by: simpleton01 at 12/07/2007 06:16 PM

you can't be too hard on yourself. that old crossing guard was there for a long, long time. We all loved her -- maybe not as you did. But you can't be too hard on yourself in that either, it's quite natural to covet the thing you see everyday, even if she was 90. Time heals all wounds.

Posted by: Jennifer at 12/08/2007 06:38 AM

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