I've never been a fan of camouflage shirts. With just what is the wearer trying to blend in with? I don't get it. At least she's added a little splash of color with her shorts; far too often hate group members settle for something drab. Those shorts make her look peppy, like she's ready to go out there and disgrace a fallen soldier's funeral with everything she's got.
GRADE: B -
Here is Westboro Baptist Church's leader, Fred Phelps, looking killer in his sunglasses and cowboy hat. Haven't seen somebody be so as one with their sunglasses since David Hodo (the construction worker in The Village People) was featured on the cover of the band's seminal album Live and Sleazy. Fred has got it going on. And how about him carrying that heavy sign? Talk about leading by example! You go, Fred!
GRADE: A
Yucko. I don't like pink versions of professional sports teams' shirts. The Kansas City Royals' colors aren't pink; they're blue. Why in god's name is she a Royals fan anyway? They haven't won since Frankie Goes to Hollywood was in the Top 40. Metal Mouth needs to pick a new team -- and a new shirt. Frankie Says Try Harder.
GRADE: D
There's no denying this woman's patriotism, but that flag skirt doesn't do her hips any favors. She could cover herself in all the flags of the United Nations and still her thunder thighs would be there, thundering away. And the pink T-shirt clashes something wicked. One has to wonder who let her leave her her hateroom in the morning. Why would anybody stop and listen to her express her deluded, messed up views of the world when she looks like that?
GRADE: C-
Oh dear. Haven't we been through this before? Homeboy on the right is trying to hide it, but that's clearly a fanny pack around his waist. What gives? Does he get off on negative criticism? Fanny packs are a scourge. Have been for years. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. As for the guy on the left, well, his vintage YMCA T-shirt is about as hip as a T-shirt can get. He must be wearing it as a tribute to all the wonderful moments he's had in the locker room at the Y. It's gratifying to know he hasn't forgotten where he's come from. Unfortunately, whatever style points he gets for the T-shirt are canceled out simply by being in close proximity of Mr. Fanny Pack. Come on, bro. This isn't 1992. You got pockets in your shorts. Use them. Just how ignorant can one crazy homophobe be?
GRADES:
Mr. Fanny Pack: F
Mr. YMCA: C
This post is dedicated to Heath Ledger.
