It's well-deserved, if I don't say so myself. My toes have endured a long, hard winter what with the writer's strike and multiple hematomas, not too mention that whole polygamist cult brouhaha. But they've turned a corner, and to celebrate they're giving themselves a little R&R. Yes, big left toe still goes on a bender from time to time, but that's to be expected with a big toe that has faced its own demons head on. And big right toe has really come into its own as of late. Gone are the days of crack houses and marrying multiple teenage girls to honor some sordid, backward god. Now big right toe devotes his spare time to helping the homeless and developing a website that it promises will be the "be all end all" for fans of celebrity boobs. So let them have the their fun and sun. They deserve it.

This post is dedicated to pelicans.