I'm sitting here at the dining room table working on my computer while The Chosen One and Lil' Buddy find new ways to take forever to eat their pancakes. Stop stalling and just eat the things already. Enough with the laughing and being silly. Can't they see I'm trying to write a clever and funny post for today and that their behavior is preventing me from doing this? They are giggling, question-asking machines. Lil' Buddy just asked me what cartilage looks like. What kind of question is that? How am I supposed to know what cartilage looks like? I'm not a doctor. God. Now they're talking about their belly buttons, as they pat their stomachs and cackle. Not one piece of pancake has been eaten in the last five minutes. Now The Chosen One has asked what our bellies are made of? Oh dear god. It's going to be a long summer. I told him that bellies are made of pancakes and bananas and if he and his brother don't finish there's theirs they will have to go to the hospital and have a dangerous operation. Also told him that the hospital will be haunted by mean robot ghosts that will steal all their toys.

There. That seems to have worked. Now I can write the funniest blog post of all-time in peace. Mean robot ghosts do the trick every time. I must remember this the next time we go out to dinner at a restaurant.

This post is dedicated jumpsuits.