The Chosen One lost another tooth yesterday. He was all, "Daddy, check me out!" Then he grinned to show the new gap in his smile. "That makes four!" he boasted.

Whatever.

I've lost all my baby teeth already, so it's kind of hard for me to be impressed. Been there done that. Plus when you think about it, your teeth falling out is kind of messed up. I mean, parts of you are falling out of your mouth. Pretty freaky. So acting like it's the most amazing thing ever is overdoing it a bit.

Besides, I got him beat when it comes to things falling out of your body. Yesterday, while taking a shower I dislodged a contact lens. For the life of me I couldn't figure if I had completely poked it out, or if it was still in my eye somewhere. So I waited for it to drift back into position on my eyeball for a few minutes, but nothing happened. It was annoying walking around only able to see out of one eye. How would I watch my soap operas? How would I surf the Internet? How would watch my soap operas while surfing the Internet? So I broke down and popped a new contact lens into my eye.

I was able to see again, but my eye still didn't feel right. Felt like something was still in there, up behind it someplace. Drove me crazy. But I powered through and went about my daily business of watching soap operas and surfing the internet. Eventually, I forgot about it all together. Until this morning, that is, when I woke up and discovered my old dried up contact lens in the corner of my eye.

Is that crazy or what?

Don't answer. You never have anything nice to say.

Well, I think that's pretty crazy. I walked around nearly a whole day with two contact lenses in one eye. I wonder if that's some sort of a record. Would someone call Guinness for me? Thanks. Anyway, I'm going to leave my old contact lens under my pillow tonight. Hoping the tooth fairy will man up and give me something for it. I think having a contact lens behind your eyeball for a day is way more impressive than losing some stupid baby tooth.

But that's just me.

This post is dedicated to sweating bullets.