So there's this new Viagra ad that has a middle aged husband and wife dancing around in their living room before doing it and that's all well in good, because let's face it, what sex pill ad doesn't feature a middle aged husband and wife dancing in their living room, but the problem I have with the ad, the thing that gets me every time I see the commercial, is that the guy playing the husband is this actor I've seen in numerous other commercials ever since I was a boy, and the guy is much older now and has a full head of grey hair and every time I see the commercial I remember how I used to see this guy in ads when I was a boy and now he's old and he's wearing these smart looking loafers and I kind of sort of want them, but then I think "Oh my god, did I just kind of sorta think that I want to buy loafers?" because in my book loafers are for old people, sure I wore penny loafers in high school but that was 1986 and they were fashionable and I put one penny in my left shoe that had my year of birth on it and I put another penny in my right shoe that had 1985 on it and it was a cool look with my multi-layered oxford shirts and Wayfarer sunglasses, but it's no longer 1985 and here I am pushing 40 and all of a sudden I'm relating to the old guy who I've grown up with because his loafers look really comfortable and jesus christ I could use a pair of comfortable shoes, and that's why it gets me, because I am relating to this old guy with comfy shoes in a god damn Viagra ad and oh dear god just what have I become?

This post is dedicated to turning 39 in two weeks.