In yesterday's post I made reference to the fact that I had sexual relations with a string of Christmas tree lights. I'd like to retract that statement for fear of it hurting my family and making me look bad. Whether I had sex with a string of Christmas tree lights isn't what's important here. Our laws say a person can do anything they want in their own home, whether it's having sex with a string of Christmas tree lights or holding cock fights in their basement, or having sex with a string of Christmas tree lights while holding cock fights in their basement. As long as nobody in law enforcement knows about it, you're in the clear. What's really important here is that I have a wife and two children who think the world of me and if they ever found out about the stuff I do while their out at work and school they'd be very angry with me and wouldn't buy me nice things for Father's Day. So I take everything I said in yesterday's post back, especially the part about me having sex with a string of Christmas tree lights. Because that never happened in the way I wrote it did in yesterday's post. And if the string of Christmas tree lights could talk, it would tell you the same thing. As would all the roosters. At least those that survived anyway.

To make it up to everyone, there's this:

Have a nice weekend.