NASCAR fans are the new drunken Irish. Or something. So don't tell me this pic is inappropriate.

And FOR THE RECORD: that's not my stomach. My stomach still looks like this (THE PIC ON THE RIGHT), more or less. Jealous?

Yes, you are jealous. Very much so, as a matter of fact.

Now excuse me, lassies, but there's some green beer I have to pretend to drink in front of my working class Irish cousins or else I'll be banished from my family.

Top o' the morning to you, PIGEONS.