Ring the bells: My vacation is over. You can all go back to your lives now. I know it must have been hard, especially for those of you that didn't bother to follow me on Twitter. But now I'm back, so you can stop your whining.

My vacation was delightful, thank you very much. There is nothing like getting away from the grind and being free of your daily commitments, like blogging and making your own sandwiches for lunch. I don't know how I cope doing those things all the time. It's so much easier not having to blog and make your own sandwiches. I think everyone should have their own sandwich maker. The world would be a much better place. Yes, that raises the question of who would make the sandwich makers' sandwiches, but for me isn't a big deal. As long as someone is making my sandwiches, I couldn't care less.

And as for blogging, well, I suppose somebody else writing your blog for you would have its advantageous too, but then it wouldn't really be your own blog. So I'll just plod on and blog for myself. When you think about it, I'm really a trooper. A plodding blogging trooper who has to make his own sandwiches. There should be a Nobel prize for it, really. At the very least I should get a two week vacation instead of just one. God, the more I think about it, the more I feel gypped.

Whatever, Vacation God. You're rules suck, but whatever. I bow to your divine power anyway. Why? Because I'm a bigger person than you are. So I won't make a fuss. I'll just keep on keeping on. Just don't expect me to make you a sandwich.