Mowed my lawn yesterday. Mowed the crap out of it. When I was through, that lawn didn't know what it hit. I mowed that sucker. Mowed that sucker hard.

Afterward, my lawn was like "OH MY GOD. YOU JUST MOWED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."

And I was like, "Ain't no thing, lawn. Just how I do."

So my lawn was like, "NO REALLY. YOU'VE NEVER MOWED ME LIKE THAT BEFORE. IT WAS GENIUS."

So I was like, "Then where's my MacArthur grant, bitch?"

Then it was all, "BELIEVE YOU ME, I WOULD TOTALLY NOMINATE YOU FOR A MACARTHUR GENIUS GRANT IF I COULD. YOU ARE MORE THAN DESERVING."

Then I was all, "Enough talk, lawn. I got to wash the crap out of my car. Later for you."

The End.