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I'm happy to report that my book is still clobbering Wet Cats. Sure, The Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life is ranked in six digits overall, but it's way ahead of those soaked kitties and at this point that's all that really matters. Word is there's talk of a wet bunnies book. I look forward to destroying those things as well.
THE ULTIMATE GAME GUIDE TO YOUR LIFE'S AMAZON RANK: #137,462
WET CATS' AMAZON RANK: #236,072
CONTEST! CONTEST! CONTEST!
Did that get your attention? Perhaps you should put down that Ding Dong? There. Good. Hi. So, yep, I'm holding a contest. In fact, not just a contest, but a contest with a prize. Best of all, anybody can win. All you have to do is enter.
I know, I know, I know. I'm awesome for doing this. Whatever. Thanks, but I'm just a man, really. A man wearing a better-than-average shirt and killer new slippers, but a man just the same. I'm also quite handsome. But that has nothing to do with the contest, which I'm sure you're just dying to learn about. So, without further ado, here the details:
THE REVIEW MY BOOK ON AMAZON CONTEST
Guidelines
#1. Buy my book. If you check it out of the library you will be disqualified. No exceptions. I like libraries just as much as the next guy, as they are full of books and transients and what have you, but I'm trying to make a living as an author here, so buck up and dish out the 12 bucks to buy my book. That's like two boxes of Ding Dongs. You can afford to make this sacrifice.
#2. Read my book. No phony reviews allowed. You must read my book before reviewing it. If nothing else, I'm all about integrity, so my contest must be integrilicious or else I will have failed all those who came before me. So read the book. Perhaps many of you have already. I wouldn't know because I have yet to receive a glowing email from any of you about how the book has changed your life, but maybe you're still drafting it.
#3. Review my book on Amazon.com. The review must:
- Be at least three sentences long
- Make no mention of any typos in the book
- List one reason why my book is better or worse than Wet Cats
- Be completely honest, as long as you don't go out of your way to hurt my feelings, i.e., like writing something mean about my shirt or slippers.
#4. Send me a photo of you holding my book. This is to verify that you actually have a copy of my book and aren't pretending you do to win the prize. Sorry for being so stickler-ish, but that's how I roll. If you would prefer I not post the pic on Utter Wonder or the Book Blog, let me know, and I'll acquiesce with nary a guilt trip. Feel free to be as creative or as non-creative as you want with the photograph. Just be sure that both you and my book are in the pic.
That's it. Every contest entrant who adheres to the guidelines will win the contest and be awarded with a genuine, officially licensed Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life magnet! It's the most awesome magnet ever -- it sticks to your fridge! And don't listen to what the press has said about the non-licensed Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life magnets being better than my officially licensed one. There are a lot of bitter people in the world and I can't help that. Besides, my magnet is way more awesome - you can stick it on your fridge!
Alrighty, that should do it. Write your review here; send your pic and mailing address to me here. Now go get reviewing!
I think with this post I firmly establish The Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life Blog as THE place to find links to interviews of me. Sorry, Entertainment Tonight blog: You guys failed. Best go find some interviews of some other barely known to try and corner the market on; this blog owns Christopher Monks. KABOOM.
At any rate, the gaming blog Game Set Watch features an interview with me where I describe what the "Christopher Monks" video game would look like. Here's an excerpt.
"What would the Christopher Monks Game® be?
I can’t say for sure, but I’m fairly certain that it would involve hanging around your house in your pajamas playing Word Twist on Facebook for hours on end. Perhaps there would also be a boss level where you’d have to go to Stop & Shop, buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and return home before “The Office” begins.
For the rest of the interview, please go here.
There's a new interview with me available for you to love. I am now the 221st person to be interviewed by Claire Zulkey. I am nothing short of thrilled about this as I've been a fan of Claire's for a long time now. Here's an excerpt:
When I publish my book, do you recommend I check out my Amazon ranking or will it only lead to misery?
It depends on how often you check them. You don't want to overdo it or else you might go a little bonkers. I'd keep it to down to like 50 times a day. Anything over 50 or 60 times and your speaking voice will develop an unrelenting quiver. 70-90 times and you'll stop feeding your pet. Over 100 times and you'll begin to think that Hasselbeck girl on The View has a good head on her shoulders.
You can read the rest here.
The Boston Globe was kind enough to run an article about me and my book today. I'm quite pleased with it. The picture isn't so bad either. It's of me playing Mario Kart for the Wii, a game I rarely play, but the photographer said it made for a "good shot." (As if my rugged good looks weren't enough.) It was taken in my man attic. You can't make out much in the photo, except for my profile, the TV, and our teal-colored home entertainment center. Yes, my home entertainment center is teal. I hope that isn't a dealbreaker. If it is, I hope you've already bought my book at least. No givesies backsies. At any rate, you can read the whole piece right here.
The controversial third installment in a series of videos featuring me playing video game with my sons. As usual, don't call DSS on me. And in this one's case, I really, really mean it.
Playing Video Games With My Sons: EPISODE III - Grand Theft Auto IV from cmonks on Vimeo.