Well, after two long, grueling weeks we finally have our first winner of the Review My Book On Amazon Contest. It really was excruciating waiting for one of you to say something nice about my book in a public forum. It was almost as if none of you had even bought the thing. Or maybe you've just been busy, what with the financial crisis and Britney Spears' comeback and all. Fair enough. Those are perfectly good excuses. So consider yourself un-grudged held against. And perhaps this first Amazon review will spur your sorry, poor, Brittany-crazed self into writing one of your own.

One can only hope and pray.

At any rate, our first contest winner, Mary Keyes, has written a fine review. My book has clearly charmed her silly. In her prize-winning critique she writes many wonderful lines, like, " [A] Fabulous, witty, exciting, clever book that I just couldn't put down," and "I found myself laughing out loud as I recognized so many aspects of myself in his story," and "Everyone can get something out of this book of wisdom and humor," and "I am sending [this book] to my nephew who is stuck at his stage of life living at home, delivering pizza with his degree in English! and so it goes," and, yes, okay, I just quoted the entire review, but you see it don't you, you see how charmed silly she was by my book? It's like the book connected with her soul in a way that a book about a fake video game has never connected with her soul before. Sure, yes, she left some some words out, but who cares? Haven't we all left words out of our reviews on Amazon before? Well, not me, but then again I'm a published author with a book ranked 150,000th-something on Amazon.

Anyway, I thank Mary from the bottom of my heart for putting me out of my misery. There is nothing worse than holding a contest that nobody has bothered entering. She saved the day. For her efforts she will receive an Ultimate Game Guide to Your Life magnet. Right now there are only ten of these bad boys in existence, so it's like incredibly rare and unique. Plus it sticks to your fridge!

For the rest of you, there's still time to enter the contest. Go here for a reminder of the guidelines. Don't worry about the photograph rule; obviously that task is beyond your skill set anyway. So hurry up and review the thing already. I only have nine more magnets and I need to get them off my fridge because my son has submitted a drawing of himself playing football on Mars for display and I can't bare to reject him for the 14th time in a row, thus I need to make some room for the piece. Thanks!